All you need is love . Big up for the beatles .

HI. It is 2 am in my country. I am still awake even though I am so sick. I should be sleeping right now but even sleeping pills aren't working. Guess you can't fight nature :)
I am coming back to this blog for the second time today because I really feel like writing. I just realised I want to do this in my life. As I said to my best friend : I will someday write something that will inspire. I hope I will. I need to in fact.

My best friend. I just called her that way as it's been a very long time that I haven't because I wasn't sure we still were. Not that I forgot about her but because we grew apart so much I was thinking that I'm not hers anymore. But it doesn't matter to me right now cause she's my best friend. It will be best if I am hers too.
Tonight I realised we were still best friends. For the simplest reason. I couldn't share something with anyone but her. I have so many friends out there but it just didn't feel right. It's not that they won't understand, it's that they won't actually feel it. This is important to me and I needed feelings put into what I was saying. It wasn't a story. I shared a dream. And you know what, we haven't been this close for a very long time. In fact, we haven't talked that way we used to in a very long time. But it just felt right as if time didn't pass us by. As if nothing happened since the last thing we truly shared. As if nothing ever changed. And when you feel that way with someone, just know : he's you're best friend. I hope it'll never be any other way. I need someone like that in my life and if I loose her a lot will be lost in my life. There is things that really nobody listens to me talking about but her. Truly. We used to share diaries when we were younger. We used to say : Oh My God you understand me so much better than anyone. We used to feel the truth and the innocence and the trust in each others eyes. We've been there and we've been also in two seperate worlds. Not talking at all for several months and when we do, it was for a couple of minutes. But it was never weird or uncomfortable, it just feels right to pick up right where we left it. Even months and months before.
I don't kow what happened tonight. I read too much good british novels I guess it made me realise I want to write and I got so emotional because I felt the love I feel for art. Talking about art, I want to take some theatre classes because I want to play real old british plays. They are full of emotions. I'm talking about real good ones not any play.
As I sit here, alone, in my bedroom at night, it feels peacefull. Everyone is asleep and no one moves or talks or anything. They are gentle souls who can't do anything but breathe softly and dream :)
My life is beautiful. I intend to love it even in chaos. I always say it could be worst or when it's really bad all I can say is that I'm blessed because I will learn from every bad moment in my life.

God .. I can't thank you enough for giving me a heart and soul that's thankfull and greatfull for everything you gave it . Only with love .


Listening and singing to : Isn't she lovely - stevie wonder (cover)

Sick to the stomach but still smiling .

I'm not blogging now so I can tell my story. Or what I  lived after what happened the last time I blogged. It's been a very long time now and I don't intend on telling it all. In terms of boys, Oh God help me, he's the only one who knows how much of them came into my life for the past two months. Too many, really. At one point, it is annoying indeed but I enjoyed spending time with every one of them and I don't think I have any regrets. My sister thinks I'm A Lady Casanova lol. Well anyway. So much had happened in my life. A LOT !
I lost two friends, if I may call them that way. I don't like them anymore and I always make a promise to myself : always be surrounded by positive energy. That's what I do everyday. Sometimes I'm pretty good at it and sometimes I suck at it. But hey, it's life, ups and downs I guess.
I got so sick this week I can't get out of my bed at all. I feel so sick even right now. I'm about to faint .. But I write cause it's been a long time that I haven't and I seriously feel I need to be poetic again about life. I don't want to loose my way of seeing life from a wise perspective :)
I have changed since the last time I wrote on this blog. I don't want boys in my life anymore. I need a serious break. I don't feel I'm able to like anbody. I don't feel that way just because there is two ways of being with someone. You're either together for sex or together for a serious relationship which is all about love and future and getting married. Well I'm tired of being with boys just to kiss and kiss and kiss and I don't think I'm ready to be serious with anyone so that leaves me with no boys. I used to go out with boys just cause there's nothing better to do that's it and I knew every single time that he's not the one and I do it anyway but the thing now is that I know it's not going anywhere so why bother ... I just had too much fun and now I'm resting.
Well I'm in holidays for a long time now. It's been more than a month. I had fun at first now I'm sick. I can't wait till I get better so I can live up my summer again. I want to check in some dance classes (hopefully mom will be okay with it) and I want some muscle definition on my belly and my legs. I finally decided after years of dieting and months of sweating to get skinny that I want to keep my curves. It's sexy and it makes who I am. It's my signature and I intend to keep it but get some muscle definition though that's it.
Something else. I want some art in my life. I don't want to have studies in my life and that is that. I want something where I can express myself. Something that helps me to be myself and be bold.
Anyway, I feel so sick that I lost everything I really opened this blog for but it's okay. Some other time :)
Lots of love. Xoxo.